365 days ago...

As we were approaching Spencer's first birthday, I couldn't help but reflect back on where we were, at this time last year. Talking to Kaj last night, we discussed how at that time last year, we were sitting in the living room, watching TV, while timing contractions. As I thought through all the events of that night, I realized that I should really write about it, so I have something to look back on. So, if you don't want to hear about childbirth, you should probably stop reading... now.

My estimated "due date" was January 10th. Until then, I was quite calm and patient. Content to let my little guy "cook" for as long as he needed. I wasn't about to rush the process. When I went to work on Friday, January 11th, I heard quite a lot of "what are you still doing here?!?" and "when is that baby going to come?!?" I had told my supervisor a few months ahead of time, that the baby would be born the weekend of January 12th, so I could start my leave on the following Monday. I had a whole schedule worked out. Right down to the day... then, suddenly, there we were, Saturday, January 12... I was starting to wonder if this baby was going to cooperate with MY schedule, after all! (HA!)

Kyler and Libby were gone for the weekend, so Kaj and I had a fairly relaxing day at home. I'd been having, more than normal, braxton hicks contractions throughout the last couple days, and had been trying to time them on the app I downloaded on my phone. Up to that point, I hadn't had anything particularly painful or consistent, so I didn't think anything of it. My parents were heading up to work on their house in Brigham City (about an hour away) and before they left my mom kept asking me how I was feeling, and if I was going to go in labor while they were gone. I mentioned I had been having a few little contractions, but I had accepted that this baby wasn't going anywhere that night. My mom didn't quite believe that though, and made me promise to keep her updated, so she could make it back to the hospital in time.

As the evening progressed, I continued to time every contraction. In the evening, I started to notice that they had been coming a little more regularly. They had been coming about every 10 minutes or so, but they weren't really very painful, so they surely were not labor... but then, it was 5-7 minutes. And they were still coming regularly, even though they still weren't particularly painful at that point. My mom called to check in, and I mentioned that the contractions were probably coming about every 5-7 minutes, but I didn't think it was really significant. She informed me that this baby was coming, and they were going to pack up and start heading back south. I was still not really convinced that there was any rush, and didn't want them to stop everything they were doing for a false alarm.

This picture was taken at 10:42 pm. I told Kaj that if I was going to have this baby, that I needed my toe nails painted! Being the wonderful husband that he is, he acquiesced to my request. I was having contractions about every 5 minutes.. .and finally starting to really feel them. I was getting a BIT uncomfortable. I had done quite a bit of research ahead of time, though, and I had made my whole "birth plan". I knew I didn't want any unnecessary interventions, and I planned to go un-medicated. Because of that, it was my intention to birth as long as possible at home, so I would not feel pressured to have an epidural or pitocin or any other interventions. So, I decided to take a shower and then reassess and see if maybe we should head to the hospital. I had read that taking a shower or bath could help with easing contractions... so, there I am, in the tub, and my contractions are getting even more intense, and I'm thinking... "um, hello, this is supposed to help.... this is SO not helping!". I ended up on the bathroom floor, and Kaj came in to check on me. At that point, I was having a really hard time standing up. I had to be on my knees, to make it through the contractions. We starting thinking maybe we better get to the hospital, so I had Kaj call and talk to a nurse. He explained that while yes, this was my first child, my contractions were between 3-5 minutes apart and were getting pretty intense. The nurse was pretty dismissive, basically saying that we "could" come in, if we wanted... but that if I didn't progress, then they would likely just send us home. She mentioned that if I could still talk through the contractions, then I probably still had a while. Despite that, we thought we should probably go ahead and head in. Making my way to our room, and getting dressed, took some effort. I think I spent most of the time on the floor.

It was about 1:30 am when we were admitted into Labor & Delivery. After we got our room, the nurse came to get me all hooked up and monitor the baby. When they checked me at about 1:45 am, I was dilated to 4 cm and the nurses figured we would have a while. I requested intermittent monitoring, so that I wouldn't be hooked up to the machines and confined to the bed. That meant they would connect me to the machines for 20 minutes out of every hour. I intended to walk around, or use an exercise ball, to help with the contractions... but by this time, my contractions were so intense, I didn't want to move from the bed. They adjusted the bed so I could kneel through my contractions, because that was what seemed to be the most "comfortable".

My mom made it to the hospital shortly after we checked in, and she, Kaj, and the nurse were all helping to talk me through each contraction. The intensity at this point is completely indescribable. I started to wonder what the HELL I was thinking, to do this without pain meds. There is just absolutely NO way to prepare yourself for that kind of pain. I was quite literally screaming through my contractions. I was saying over and over "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this..." At 2:50 am the nurse had to hook the machines back up to check the baby, and to see how I had progressed. After she checked me, I just remember her rushing out of the room with her little walkey talkey thing, telling someone to contact the on-call doctor. Apparently I was already dilated to 7 cm and she realized this baby was coming a LOT faster than they anticipated. They didn't think the on-call OB was going to make it. I distinctly remember someone saying that they had the "doc-in-a-box" ready, just in case. Sounds very reassuring, right? I still have no idea what that meant, but I think it was probably a resident.

Fortunately, the doctor got there quick. She came in and told me they needed to break my water, to speed things up. Apparently our babies heart rate was dropping with each contraction, and they were concerned about it, and wanted to get him out as quickly as possible. I was very much not on board with this plan. In my mind I just keep thinking about all the things I had heard about how the contractions are much more painful, after they break your water, and how it can also lead to other interventions. Of course, our baby's safety was my first priority and I had to trust my doctor. Although, I was all but begging for something to help with the pain. I truly didn't think I could survive if the pain got any worse.

According to Kaj, it was 3:05 am when they broke my water. The next 45 minutes are a blur. After she broke my water, it was already time to push. I had (literally) a whole room full of people telling me to "PUSH!". Seriously. It was like living a scene from a movie. I was so incredibly irritated that all these people were yelling at me when to push, and when to stop pushing... I could very much feel when I was having a contraction. I didn't need their machine to tell me when it was happening, I promise!

The doctor was insistent that we needed to get this baby out right NOW. She told me if he wasn't out in a couple more pushes, that she may have to use a vacuum, to help. "Like hell", I thought. There was no way I was letting that happen.

Next thing I knew, after pushing with everything I had, there he was. My beautiful baby boy, laying on my chest. He was born at 3:48 am. It was like everything froze. I had a second degree tear, but I barely noticed as they stitched me up (after the local anesthetic, of course). They allowed his cord to stop pulsing (as requested) and then Kaj was able to cut it.

He was (is) so incredibly perfect. I may a bit bias... but it's true. I was still laying flat on my back, while getting stitches, but he latched on and nursed right away. The nurses were all very impressed. I got to sit there and snuggle him for quite a while, before I finally allowed the nurses to do their thing, and measure and weigh him. We also hadn't even decided on a name for him, until right after he was born.

Spencer Jameson Godfrey

7lbs 12 oz

21.5 inches long

Happy First Birthday Spencer!

We love you more than words!